They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
