...so i touched it.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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