shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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