So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My vagina is officially offended.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
