Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
