I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
