O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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