So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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