is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Randomize
