I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
