I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize