Will you blow on my dice?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
