Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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