I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
