I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
