I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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