going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
