in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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