So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
