Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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