I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
