So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
