you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
