I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I have tasted many bathrooms
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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