Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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