I didn't shave. On purpose
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
