just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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