so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Still dying that you shit outside
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
