I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
