I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
