2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
