he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
