What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
