Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
