seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
