The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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