I want to stick my p in your. b.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I am mentally ready for anal.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
