Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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