In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
