We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm too high and old for this...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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