Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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