I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
