If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
