I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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