I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
