Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
