Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
