So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
