I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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