my mouth tastes like poor choices
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
