I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
