everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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