I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
do herpes really smell.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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