seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
