ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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