I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
