people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
