i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
