you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
sarcasm needs its own font
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize