pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
