i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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